The girl with the butterfly tattoos.

An older man noticed my tattoo the other day the first thing he asked was, why I chose monarchs? I knew it was about to get uncomfortable, (I vowed May 2,2015 to never back down on talking about them. The discomfort someone might experience is nothing compared to mine),  ... I told him anyways I paused then told him we did a monarch release at my triplets funeral in May and he immediately closed his eyes and just whispered I'm sorry. I said, no no it's OK I'm just glad that you asked. He told me that he used to collect butterflies and gave me some fun facts. A few moments later he said, I don't want to ruin your mascara or anything, but my grandson just tried to commit suicide a month ago, can I ask you how do you cope?

 (One of those moments you think, "I'm in the right spot at the right time")

His grandson was diagnosed with asburgers, and the family was concerned he would hurt someone else or himself- and wished they could have known to do more. I feel for him. You could easily see the love he has for his grandson, regardless of his diagnosis. He didn't want to lose him- but knew he would.

 So my answer- The first thought that came to mind was Jesus holding my triplets. I pause for a few seconds I had no idea what I was going to say, because really there isn't an answer to that question. I told him I guess you just find something positive and focus on it, and you also realize you don't have a choice. I focus on hope, and the future.

He smiled, speechless. 

I put my tattoo on my shoulder on purpose. It would be seen, They would be seen. You have those who judge people with tattoos and wonder why, or will they regret it? Absolutely not. There was a reason I wanted it right there- out in the open. Ever person that sees it, and if they happen to ask- is another breath of healing. 

I've always been someone who is adamant a tattoo should mean something or represent a memory.
This tattoo means the world to me and I was blessed when seeking out an artist I found Ryan Kirkland. He knew how much it meant to me. The time spent consulting and then tattooing this piece was such a smooth experience.  I'm grateful for his talents and attention to detail.

What I've learned- 

Do what you need to do & Be unapologetic about it. 

Some of the happiest people carry the heaviest load, we smile, we have to- because right under the surface we are shattered. We're hold it together just enough to appear normal.