My babies are 2 weeks old!

or "34 weeks"

Oh my!

My "goal" was 34 weeks, but what a wonderful surprise

 to get to meet them earlier than expected.

How blessed we are that they are so healthy and learning what they need to come home with us! 

Over the past week they have lost alittle weight, but then gained it back plus more. Asher and Aspen are wearing big boy and girl clothes! No more just diapers. Cross our tiny boy wore his first outfit today! He just needs a bit more fat to help him maintain his body temp and will be catching up soon!

Last week Aspen and Asher's oxygen was removed, Cross did not require any since birth, no more IVs, they are now feeder-growers! They are tolerating their feeds and taking their vitamins:). 

The doctor ordered a brain sono just as a precaution, major problems are rare at 32 weeks, but I'm thankful for the extra Checking. Everything was normal. 

They are starting to learn how to eat orally, they are making great progress and eating more everytime we try. Aspen is food motivated! Most of the time she takes her whole feed in the bottle, if she keeps this up she will be coming home first!

They love to be held and we love to hold them... 

They make the sweetest noises like little baby dinosaurs. 

The last few days have been pretty exciting (for me). 

Saturday

We had a photographer from "The tiny footprints project" come take photos of them. It's a wonderful organization that provides this free service to NICU families. We will look back on these memories and smile. We are so blessed. There is currently only photography for the DFW area, so if you are a photographer please consider donating alittle of your time- what a beautiful service you'd be providing. 

Today 

I got to snuggle them all skin to skin -together- for the first time. Cross thought he was an only child and was enjoying his freedom... He was a worm and fussy, then he got some lunch in his tummy and settled down alittle. It was pretty magical.

 I still can't believe they are mine... 

Here are some pictures our nurse took while the photographer was there so I could have a few now, I'm so impatient! 

And some pictures from today... Our skin to skin time. 

Thanks to everyone for being apart of our journey. We have no clue how we got so lucky. 

This is what a MIRACLE looks like...

Aspen, Cross, Asher 

If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart. 

Soon enough they will be too big to hold together. 

God IS Good.

They're here!

It's been a week!
What a week it has been.

I certainly didn't expect to goto my (32 week) 

appointment and then be told we are delivering TODAY!

I was sad and glad. Sad that I couldn't not get them further, but GLAD they would be soon be out and in my arms safe... I was starting to have anxiety everyday that something was going to happen.

We made it.  

WAITING...

Scrubbing in

Here comes Daddy!

More waiting...

Here we go... Major panic behind the smile.

Everyone was excited!  

And... they're coming... 

Hard work having 3 babies. I need a nap.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Today they are one week old and are doing SO well.   They will be in the NICU for at least 3-4 weeks, they are all "Feeders/Growers", off oxygen, IVs and only having feeding tubes. They start to bottle feed this week. Another answered prayer, they are moving right along for being born early.

We are so impressed and PROUD. 

 Asher born at 6:01 PM  3lbs. 10oz

Aspen born at 6:02 PM  3lbs. 14oz

Cross at 6:02 PM.  2lbs. 15oz

Thanks for being apart of our journey. 

God is SO good.

Holding them is surreal

We have been abundantly blessed.

SHOWER!

We were lucky enough be given two beautiful showers by amazing friends and family who love us and the babies SO much. We constantly feel supported and encouraged by those around us and that is the BEST gift.


My first Shower was given at 25 weeks and I was feeling pretty good, measuring in at around 32(ish) weeks... Most recently at 29 weeks I attended my 2nd! Boy, does 4 weeks make a difference when your carrying triplets! We played a game at the first shower where they measured "my circumference"... we repeated this game recently I've grown 3-4 inches around! I'm feeling it, but I am too blessed to be stressed.

These days I'm measuring around 38(ish) weeks!We are doing great, healthy and if we continue this trend we hope to make it 4-6 more weeks!

We want the healthiest premies we can manage so the longer we keep cooking the less time they will be on feed tubes, in isolation, hooked up to monitors etc.

DRINK OFF! Apple Juice out of Bottle, Jordan was a CHAMP.

I was really worried I would be on bed rest, hospital or at home by this time, but I am amazed by the TAC how secure it's made me feel. It's a God send, and without I know we would not be here!

We have an article coming out in Shattered Magazine this summer-

Please stay tuned I can't wait to share it with all of you. It's all about our journey over the past year.

We are of course overwhelmed by the amount of gifts and support!

Thanks a million we can never tell you enough.

TAC Surgery day.

There's nothing quite like the "empty sonogram" after a loss.

It's surprisingly painful and emotional. A lot of first...

Good news... everything looks good and procedure is about to start! 

I arrive at the hospital, get checked and they take me to my room to wait. The sterile, gloomy environment is too much and the tears start... another first... I'll admit I use to enjoy hospital stays, it's like a hotel, but better you lay in a bed and people take care of you!

Not after experiencing death. In this way. 

I wipe the tears away and I am brave.

As I am being wheeled into the OR to place my TAC I can't help but think about Jax, Stella and Beck. If only I could have saved them. If there was anyone who would do anything to go back in time, it's me. After losing them I threw myself into the whys- I came up with a million reasons and several were my own fault... I found peace finally. It was my body.

I don't  I Stopped blaming myself. I'm angry yes, could more have been done, maybe...  

Would they have still be born early... Probably.
I realize I can't control everything.

Two of my MOST favorite quotes. 

I'm no longer so focused on the fact my body failed me, and the "I wish I would've knowns" and all those other issues. I've made a decision to do all that I can do for anything that may happen in the future, It's not like I'm just left standing here with nothing; I'm armed with the knowledge and the resources and the fact that I can do this!

My complication potenically has a solution, and for that I am so thankful for. I am so thankful I went searching on the internet. I am so glad for the breakdown I had when I found out a TAC may have saved them... It helped me say YES I am doing this! Even thought it's too late to save them... It's another page turned in my story of healing.

The pain of losing Jax, Stella and back has pushed me to choose the most invasive procedure, but with the highest success rate. 

This procedure is life changing.

I can not trust my body so I have done all that I can do to help it. 

The dreams of having my triplets did not come true, 

but my dream of having a family and siblings for then will come true. 

Sometimes you have to be your own hero. 

You have to know what is good for you and go for it. 

No matter what anyone is telling you or what the medical books say... Go for it. 

I'm sore, uncomfortable and I've added a few more scars to my canvas,
 but this pain is nothing compare the hurt of loss. 

I don't care about anything that I have to endure as long as that means

 that I have a healthy family and that makes me feel like a mom.

I'm finally feeling almost back to normal and I have hope for the future and
 I'm bringing them with me.

Medically Necessary, not experimental!

Some people probably think I'm crazy, or worse, 

for being this open.

but I KNOW I am being helpful.
I will not apologize or be ashamed.

I would not be where I am right now without the help, research and knowledge of other woman who have been exactly where I am now. Their testimonies, their loses and their happiness after the darkest time in their life; reading their experiences gave me hope. When you've lost everything,

Hope is the ONLY thing you have to hold on to.

I announce the news of my surgery being covered by my insurance!
All my hospital visits, procedures, and their birth have led me to meet my deductibles and out-of-pockets for the year. (strange to be happy about that...)

They have approved this procedure as medically necessary, not experimental! 

Thank you LORD. 
We would have paid it without hesitation, regardless, but what a blessing to have one less burden on our plate.

Let me say that God broke me down and is slowly building me back up. That is what it felt like when I found out what a Trans-abdominal Cerclage was. The tears, the anger, devastation overwhelmed me. Why couldn't I know then what I know now... 

WHY CAN'T I HAVE A SECOND CHANCE.

I'm taking this as my second chance. 

It's all very bitter-sweet, I say this as tears well up in my eyes.

It's tears of happiness and sadness.

Thank you for the prayers and encouragements. 

If I haven't thanked you personally 

-PLEASE-

know that your actions are seen and heard and felt.

You are all an important part of my story.

MY SURGERY IS SET FOR WED, AUG 26TH.