Grief is a series of peaks and valleys.
Many good days and many bad, they come out of no where.
This week have been a valley.
I'm not sure why some hours, days and weeks are easier than others, but it's a constant ride.
Today I would have been 26 weeks, and while I can not live in the past,
I also can't forget.
There are lots of mini goals we set throughout this pregnancy.
The further along we got the better off we would be.
I wouldn't find out.
My bad week had a few bright moments.
I reached out to an Artist who sculpts for a living.
Her sculptures are beautiful and personal.
She offers all types, custom, or ready to ship.
She has a special place for grieving families, and offers beautiful keepsakes.Whatever you want she can work with you to create your vision.
Her store is called "The Midnight Orange", her name is Dana.
I contacted her wanting more information on what would represent my family.
She had so many great ideas and during the conversation she said she would like to send me something... when she sent me the photo I nearly hyperventilated.
She said she had made it a few months ago, but never listed it in her Etsy store.
When we were discussing design (monarch wings, triplets...) she knew she had something special, meant for me. It's a charm that can be worn on a chain, or I may make it into an ornament for our tree... the holidays are going to very different this year. I'm not prepared to even think about that.
I took it as a sign. A gift from above, it touched my heart.
But thats not all...
Have you heard of "Molly Bears"? Molly was born still to mother Bridget, who created this AMAZING organization. It gives moms who have lost a chance to hold their babies again... These bears are perfectly weighed to the specification of your babies birth weight. A way to hold your baby, to feel them in your arms. I can tell you first hand how important this is. The ache you feel starts in your heart and takes over your whole body.
You feel anger and overwhelming devastation.
They use to be free, but over the years (unfortunatly) the demand has rose as her work travelled around the community. These bears are sewn by volunteers... they are non profit. The cost are high and they do this to help families... Once a month they open the request form, with a $20 donation you are added and your bear starts to be produced. It can take a few months to receive this special gift. The total cost of making one bear, is just under $50. They work hard to customize these bears to help you memorialize your child, or children.
Dana is good friends with Bridget I had mention Molly Bears to Dana how I thought that was an extraordinary idea and hoped to get my own when I could then I received a message back from, Dana, the artist at "The midnight orange", she had contacted Bridget and wanted sponsored 3 bears for me. I nearly fainted... Seriously?
I will feel them in my arms again. I can cuddle them and hold them.
These incredible humans. They do not know me, only my story and have offered their time, and their work to help me heal. Im speechless and in awe of their hearts.
God is good.
Someone is looking out for me.
-Samone-
Everyone who has been there, friends, family, strangers, your so precious.
You can not get through this without help. We are healing because of you.
