What they don't know...

Saturday, March 5, 2016

What they don't know...

I don't think you have to be an expectant parent of multiples, or currently raising multiples to imagine the strange questions, rude remarks (though not always on purpose), intrusive questions, and staring like we are an attraction.

The blessings out way all this no doubt, but it's still infuriating when I hear some of it...
 Particularly for me.

You're going to be so busy!
So? Are you not busy? Why is being busy a bad thing... I laid in bed for almost 9 months, bored out of my mind, for them... Keeping them safe-
 I need some excitement. Even some chaos. 
I'll take it- gladly especially if that means I get them. 
Instead maybe tell me how blessed I am. 

How are you going to afford it? 
True story: Somehow every time we've hit a bump we've been provided for.  Whether it was amazing blessings from family and friends (sometimes strangers-other moms of multiples, gave us free or heavily discounted items), or just praying for something to fall into place and make this easier- and it did. 

"Are they natural? Did you do anything special?"
First of all, if that's all you have to say don't say anything. If that's your first thought and question I suspect you aren't genuine. 
Where's my congratulations and celebration, is that all you're thinking about? 
Do I walk around asking you how you got pregnant? About your sex life? 
Or Your medical history?
Here's your answer once and for all to know- the good ol' fashion way.
Even if I DID use some sort of IVF, IUI, Injections...
Why does that matter- does it make them less important? Babies are babies... Miracles, no matter how they arrive.
(&do you know how expensive that all is?) God bless those who DO have to go that route.

Are you going to breastfeed all three? 
Really? I'm rolling my eyes right now.  
I'll do what I am able to do and what is best for them (and ME). You can't anticipate the future, what you're able to produce- I'm smart enough to hope for the best, but not set up unrealistic expectations for myself. 
It shouldn't matter to anyone else. 
But, Yes I did for a brief period. 

Are you going to have them "naturally"?
Again, none of your business. 
Is there a natural way to bring your child/children in to world? 
(Almost as bad as asking "are they natural"... Nope they are fake, what?!!)
You can plan all you want, and I hope it goes according to that "plan" but this might be your first taste of- having a child means you can't "plan" for things to go your way. 
Learn to adapt. And respect.
{these two questions can be innocent- but ask yourself why do you care?} judgement?  

This one doesn't bother me too much, It just really confuses me... 
"Are you going to have more/you are done right?"
I have NO idea. Did you {would you} start planning your next child while still pregnant (with 3) or a month post p. My guess is no.
Can I survive these first? I need to make sure I can keep them alive and healthy for at least a year before I consider more!
{ I think that's pretty responsible of me! }

To be continued...

The comments-

From a man, "my mom would have killed herself". (Well good thing you weren't/aren't a triplet).

"You're never going to leave the house again." Maybe not, but that means I don't have to see you for more unnecessary comments! 

"My friend has twins"
Great. Congratulations? 
{what do I say next}

"Are these you're first"
{innocent question}
My first thoughts, "this is about to become uncomfortable... They have no idea..." 

"Your so small, where are you hiding them" 
My hips can assure you they are all there, and the scale doesn't lie, but God bless you! I think I love you.

{32 weeks! Thurston Triplets!}

All of these annoying comments and questions bring one thing to mind immediately. What they don't know is I've had to say goodbye to 3 children that should be here. 
No amount of Chaos, stress, stupid questioning etc, can compare to the stress, chaos and emotions I've already dealt with. 
I want to scream, "if you only knew!"

But,  I'll take it all if that means I get them. 

{I have a feeling I'm going to be editing this in the future as the craziness continues.}

*Leave your favorites in the comments! I bet there are some good ones out there!

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