It's time we announce the great gift we've been given, the beauty that came from such a dark time, another miracle set of triplets. The first time was shock, the second time... 

We knew there was a Divine plan. 

Boy, Boy, Girl. 

Yes, Just like Jax, Stella and Beck. 

Their due date is one year to the date after we lost Jax, Stella and Beck.

May 2nd, 2015 (Birthday)

May 2nd, 2016 (40 week due date)

No we didn't plan this, he did.

No we didn't expect this, he already knew.

Yes we were shocked. 

We were scared. Still are.

But we know the anxieties are only taken away by one person and he has created a plan so much better than we could have even imagine. 

We miss Jax, Stella and Beck.

We ache with every thought, "they should be here". Always our first, always the first grandchildren for my parents, always the first granddaughter for Jordan's. There should be 3 more children running around. But how can something so miraculous happen, and you not believe they had something to do with this. They are not gone- they are very much alive. 

We believe God has the perfect plan to fill your broken heart with 

just the right amount of healing. 

We don't understand his plan, but are so grateful for his unlimited blessings. 

"Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope."  

A triple Rainbow.

They were not a storm or "a loss", it was their absence that put a dark cloud over our lives. The constant ache of a hole that will never close. 

Jax, Stella and Beck will remain in our family forever. They will be recognized, and treated as if they are here with us, just gone from sight. We will always expect nothing less for their lives. They have been an incredible blessing and continue to teach us and bless us.
 I'll never be able to hold Jax, Stella and Beck again, but I know they are in the safest arms. On earth I will be able to hold three more little loves for as long as I am given with them. 

Most days it doesn't seem real, to good to be true,

 but we hold to faith they WILL be joining us in March!

We are so appreciative of your thoughts, prayers, positivity and support over the past year.

The love and blessings we've received are truly priceless. 

Over the weekend we were showered in love by our church. 

They have become family and a KEY piece to our healing.

It was even more beautiful that we included Jax, Stella and Beck.

We hope that you will pray with us over the next few months that they stay safely inside, continue to grow and thrive and that I have a smooth c-section with a quick recovery.

What I have learned in 2015

I would never say 2015 has been the "worst year", instead 2015 has been a hard year. 

It's been a year of blessings and then loss. 

I've learned to be grateful in the midst of grief. 

Joyful instead of angry. 

And to be hopeful not fearful.

What I have learned in 2015.

In my eyes the strongest, most beautiful women- mothers….

Are not ones who choose to breastfeed their child.

Are not the ones who choose a "natural" birth.

Are not even the ones who carried their own children for 9 mons.

Or the ones who hold many children in their arms.

Life can change too quickly to think you have it all "under control".

#1 LESSON: You have control over NOTHING.

They are the women and mothers who over came cancer, gave their lives in place of their child, 

or were left with a scarred body after a tradgic diagonisis. 

They gave and give everything they have left to their child.

They are the women who despite “ideal” genetics or situations chose to carry their 

high risk pregnanacy all the way to the end,

 As long as they could… or until their child was no longer with them.

They knew they might go through all this pain, being poked, scanned, 

drilled by doctor After doctor… not giving up. 

Then In some cases never leaving the hospital with their child.

They are the ones who could not carry a child in their bodies, but made a commitment to love one as if they did.

The ones who fought through all odds to TRY, but still feel that they failed. You didn’t fail. You are a hero.

 The ones who finally got their "wish" and it was taken.

Lets not be niave to think that everything in life is perfect.

That pregnancy is perfect, or that there is a right and wrong way to raise a child,

OR be a mother.

I can PROMISE you, don't mistake, It is those individuals the women, men, mothers, fathers who know the greatest loss and devastation

That love their children the deepest, in a completely uncomprendable way.

Those are the strongest in my eyes.

Some of us have already realized, and others are struggling right now… deeply…

Please know you DID get your miracle.

You are the MOTHER of ALL MOTHERS.

And the FATHER of ALL FATHERS.

Keep fighting.

Sending you nothing but love into 2016.

ALL mothers are special,  all mothers are important and all mothers are beautiful.

And some have endure more than you'll ever comprehend.

Never assume you know someone's story.

If 2015 was difficult, just keep going. 

It might not get easier tomorrow... or next week, but it will become more bearable.    

And as for my little miracles. 

You are the greatest part of 2015, and your are the greatest part of everyday.

You are thought of. You're always mine.

"How beautiful it is to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard"