What they don't know...

I don't think you have to be an expectant parent of multiples, or currently raising multiples to imagine the strange questions, rude remarks (though not always on purpose), intrusive questions, and staring like we are an attraction.

The blessings out way all this no doubt, but it's still infuriating when I hear some of it...

 Particularly for me.

You're going to be so busy!

So? Are you not busy? Why is being busy a bad thing... I laid in bed for almost 9 months, bored out of my mind, for them... Keeping them safe-

 I need some excitement. Even some chaos. 

I'll take it- gladly especially if that means I get them. 

Instead maybe tell me how blessed I am. 

How are you going to afford it? 

Idk. 

True story: Somehow every time we've hit a bump we've been provided for.  Whether it was amazing blessings from family and friends (sometimes strangers-other moms of multiples, gave us free or heavily discounted items), or just praying for something to fall into place and make this easier- and it did. 

"Are they natural? Did you do anything special?"

First of all, if that's all you have to say don't say anything. If that's your first thought and question I suspect you aren't genuine. 

Where's my congratulations and celebration, is that all you're thinking about? 

Do I walk around asking you how you got pregnant? About your sex life? 

Or Your medical history?

Here's your answer once and for all to know- the good ol' fashion way.

 YES IM A FREAK OF NATURE. 

Even if I DID use some sort of IVF, IUI, Injections...

Why does that matter- does it make them less important? Babies are babies... Miracles, no matter how they arrive.

(&do you know how expensive that all is?) God bless those who DO have to go that route.

Are you going to breastfeed all three? 

Really? I'm rolling my eyes right now.  

I'll do what I am able to do and what is best for them (and ME). You can't anticipate the future, what you're able to produce- I'm smart enough to hope for the best, but not set up unrealistic expectations for myself. 

It shouldn't matter to anyone else. 

Respect. 

But, Yes I did for a brief period. 

Are you going to have them "naturally"?

Again, none of your business. 

Is there a natural way to bring your child/children in to world? 

(Almost as bad as asking "are they natural"... Nope they are fake, what?!!)

You can plan all you want, and I hope it goes according to that "plan" but this might be your first taste of- having a child means you can't "plan" for things to go your way. 

Learn to adapt. And respect.

{these two questions can be innocent- but ask yourself why do you care?} judgement?  

This one doesn't bother me too much, It just really confuses me... 

"Are you going to have more/you are done right?"

I have NO idea. Did you {would you} start planning your next child while still pregnant (with 3) or a month post p. My guess is no.

Can I survive these first? I need to make sure I can keep them alive and healthy for at least a year before I consider more!

{ I think that's pretty responsible of me! }

To be continued...

The comments-

From a man, "my mom would have killed herself". (Well good thing you weren't/aren't a triplet).

"You're never going to leave the house again." Maybe not, but that means I don't have to see you for more unnecessary comments! 

"My friend has twins"

Great. Congratulations? 

{what do I say next}

"Are these you're first"

{innocent question}

My first thoughts, "this is about to become uncomfortable... They have no idea..." 

"Your so small, where are you hiding them" 

My hips can assure you they are all there, and the scale doesn't lie, but God bless you! I think I love you.

{32 weeks! Thurston Triplets!}

All of these annoying comments and questions bring one thing to mind immediately. What they don't know is I've had to say goodbye to 3 children that should be here. 

No amount of Chaos, stress, stupid questioning etc, can compare to the stress, chaos and emotions I've already dealt with. 

I want to scream, "if you only knew!"

But,  I'll take it all if that means I get them. 

{I have a feeling I'm going to be editing this in the future as the craziness continues.}

*Leave your favorites in the comments! I bet there are some good ones out there!

Triplet Nursery

My super awesome handy man husband transformed our nursery.

(With my design guidance of course)

First we sheet rocked, sanded and textured the walls.
Then put in the new flooring, and The accent wall. 

{befores}

I've taken up the motto {awhile ago} less is more. 

{unless your talking about diapers and wipes, and in that case more is more!}

{afters}

When you have a very small space every.inch.counts.!

So I've shown ways we've tired to maximize space. First major hurdle is we don't have a "real" closet, but eventually the rod will go all the across versus the small sections, and the dresser will move to another wall. The dresser is stock up with tons of sleepers/onesies/swaddles -matching sets of 3-

I've been really impressed with how we've made it work. 

Next storage- Under cribs- AKA Diaper/wipe stock pile storage

We've managed to fit over 1000 diapers, and 10 boxes of wipes. {and still going}.

A peak of our wipe pile and just a few diapers.

The compact book shelves are ideal, small, functional and handmade (aka cheap!) 

And I have a hanging organizer behind the door with my random small stuff.

Snuzas, batteries, samples, etc. 

next project-{door to be painted}

-target-

SHOUT OUT TO

4moms who sent us 2 more mamaRoos! 

Impressed by a company that has such a love for their fans and supportive of multiple families.

We can't wait to have our babies enjoying them in a month!

We are 31 weeks today!
We are so excited to be meeting them at some point in the next month.
We can not believe we've made it this far, we are thankful for my health and theirs.
GOD IS GOOD.

SHOWER!

We were lucky enough be given two beautiful showers by amazing friends and family who love us and the babies SO much. We constantly feel supported and encouraged by those around us and that is the BEST gift.


My first Shower was given at 25 weeks and I was feeling pretty good, measuring in at around 32(ish) weeks... Most recently at 29 weeks I attended my 2nd! Boy, does 4 weeks make a difference when your carrying triplets! We played a game at the first shower where they measured "my circumference"... we repeated this game recently I've grown 3-4 inches around! I'm feeling it, but I am too blessed to be stressed.

These days I'm measuring around 38(ish) weeks!We are doing great, healthy and if we continue this trend we hope to make it 4-6 more weeks!

We want the healthiest premies we can manage so the longer we keep cooking the less time they will be on feed tubes, in isolation, hooked up to monitors etc.

DRINK OFF! Apple Juice out of Bottle, Jordan was a CHAMP.

I was really worried I would be on bed rest, hospital or at home by this time, but I am amazed by the TAC how secure it's made me feel. It's a God send, and without I know we would not be here!

We have an article coming out in Shattered Magazine this summer-

Please stay tuned I can't wait to share it with all of you. It's all about our journey over the past year.

We are of course overwhelmed by the amount of gifts and support!

Thanks a million we can never tell you enough.

A Triple Blessing

It's time we announce the great gift we've been given, the beauty that came from such a dark time, another miracle set of triplets. The first time was shock, the second time... 

We knew there was a Divine plan. 

Boy, Boy, Girl. 

Yes, Just like Jax, Stella and Beck. 

Their due date is one year to the date after we lost Jax, Stella and Beck.

May 2nd, 2015 (Birthday)

May 2nd, 2016 (40 week due date)

No we didn't plan this, he did.

No we didn't expect this, he already knew.

Yes we were shocked. 

We were scared. Still are.

But we know the anxieties are only taken away by one person and he has created a plan so much better than we could have even imagine. 

We miss Jax, Stella and Beck.

We ache with every thought, "they should be here". Always our first, always the first grandchildren for my parents, always the first granddaughter for Jordan's. There should be 3 more children running around. But how can something so miraculous happen, and you not believe they had something to do with this. They are not gone- they are very much alive. 

We believe God has the perfect plan to fill your broken heart with 

just the right amount of healing. 

We don't understand his plan, but are so grateful for his unlimited blessings. 

"Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope."  

A triple Rainbow.

They were not a storm or "a loss", it was their absence that put a dark cloud over our lives. The constant ache of a hole that will never close. 

Jax, Stella and Beck will remain in our family forever. They will be recognized, and treated as if they are here with us, just gone from sight. We will always expect nothing less for their lives. They have been an incredible blessing and continue to teach us and bless us.
 I'll never be able to hold Jax, Stella and Beck again, but I know they are in the safest arms. On earth I will be able to hold three more little loves for as long as I am given with them. 

Most days it doesn't seem real, to good to be true,

 but we hold to faith they WILL be joining us in March!

We are so appreciative of your thoughts, prayers, positivity and support over the past year.

The love and blessings we've received are truly priceless. 

Over the weekend we were showered in love by our church. 

They have become family and a KEY piece to our healing.

It was even more beautiful that we included Jax, Stella and Beck.

We hope that you will pray with us over the next few months that they stay safely inside, continue to grow and thrive and that I have a smooth c-section with a quick recovery.

What I have learned in 2015

I would never say 2015 has been the "worst year", instead 2015 has been a hard year. 

It's been a year of blessings and then loss. 

I've learned to be grateful in the midst of grief. 

Joyful instead of angry. 

And to be hopeful not fearful.

What I have learned in 2015.

In my eyes the strongest, most beautiful women- mothers….

Are not ones who choose to breastfeed their child.

Are not the ones who choose a "natural" birth.

Are not even the ones who carried their own children for 9 mons.

Or the ones who hold many children in their arms.

Life can change too quickly to think you have it all "under control".

#1 LESSON: You have control over NOTHING.

They are the women and mothers who over came cancer, gave their lives in place of their child, 

or were left with a scarred body after a tradgic diagonisis. 

They gave and give everything they have left to their child.

They are the women who despite “ideal” genetics or situations chose to carry their 

high risk pregnanacy all the way to the end,

 As long as they could… or until their child was no longer with them.

They knew they might go through all this pain, being poked, scanned, 

drilled by doctor After doctor… not giving up. 

Then In some cases never leaving the hospital with their child.

They are the ones who could not carry a child in their bodies, but made a commitment to love one as if they did.

The ones who fought through all odds to TRY, but still feel that they failed. You didn’t fail. You are a hero.

 The ones who finally got their "wish" and it was taken.

Lets not be niave to think that everything in life is perfect.

That pregnancy is perfect, or that there is a right and wrong way to raise a child,

OR be a mother.

I can PROMISE you, don't mistake, It is those individuals the women, men, mothers, fathers who know the greatest loss and devastation

That love their children the deepest, in a completely uncomprendable way.

Those are the strongest in my eyes.

Some of us have already realized, and others are struggling right now… deeply…

Please know you DID get your miracle.

You are the MOTHER of ALL MOTHERS.

And the FATHER of ALL FATHERS.

Keep fighting.

Sending you nothing but love into 2016.

ALL mothers are special,  all mothers are important and all mothers are beautiful.

And some have endure more than you'll ever comprehend.

Never assume you know someone's story.

If 2015 was difficult, just keep going. 

It might not get easier tomorrow... or next week, but it will become more bearable.    

And as for my little miracles. 

You are the greatest part of 2015, and your are the greatest part of everyday.

You are thought of. You're always mine.

"How beautiful it is to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard"

I'm "Back"

It's 6:30 am rainy, windy and I should be sleeping... 

But when the words come I write them down.

This blog has been at a stand still.

Every week I desperately want to write something, but it becomes a broken record... 

I miss them, I'm always thinking about them, why are they not here, and so on. 

I have however learned to find joy in the sadness.

I've learned how to find empowerment in tragedy, because despite how much you love your child, your will never be able to experience just how much until they are taken.

 Well I know that love.

While no one wants to know what it's like to no longer be able to hold your child,
it's shocking how immense the love actually is after loss.

It's special. It's beautiful. It's mine.

I'm Lucky...