I've survived 2 months.
For 2 months my babies have been in Heaven.
It's sinking in that less than 3 months I would have been holding my 3 babies,
small, healthy, tiny premies... but with the best odds.
small, healthy, tiny premies... but with the best odds.
Every hope. Every dream. Gone.
I only had 19 weeks with them.
I can't remember how they felt like inside me.
I wish I had enjoyed every moment of pregnancy,
instead I spent those 19 weeks scared.
Scared of exactly what happened.
I was robbed of my pregnancy, something we wanted so bad.
My excitement and joy was always blended with terror and anxiety.
I'm so angry.
any easier.
There are more good days than bad days,
but the bad are BAD.
They sneak up and sometimes I can't catch my breath.
Sometimes the pain can last only a few minutes other times it can last a few hours,
and then other times you're stuck in the cycle for a couple of days
eventually you make it down the hill.
-BUT-
Sometimes I ask "why" why God did you put me through the weeks of hell...hell on my body... hell on my emotions, only to take them anyway.... I have found comfort in knowing, I gave up weeks of my life; weeks of my dignity to meet them as beautiful as they were.
We were Blessed to have met them,
and to have held them.
-Samone-